Unless you've been living under a rock or taking a media fast, you've heard of the recent hooplah over comedian, Steve Harvey and his ex-wife.You've read, blogged, gossiped about his books and him being a "relationship expert".
You've, whether through television, books, radio, stage or any other aspects have come in contact with the man who is Steve Harvey.
As have I.
I'm not one of his biggest fans, don't believe he's some relationship guru, don't always agree with him.
But there is one thing I can say about him...
...sometimes he drops some very enlightening nuggets.
Every now and then, usually during a 'Strawberry Letter' on his morning show, or if you glanced/ read his book, you'll come across something that sets off the little "You damn right!" light bulb.
Now I can admit, I haven't read his newest book and don't plan on.
Read the first one, but don't remember much of it.
I was tainted from a bad relationship and had no desire to hear a man's advice on anything, let alone love.
At one point I remember hurling the book across the room in disgust.
Not that he said anything that wasn't true. I just wasn't ready to receive it.
Anywho...(I say that a lot, got to find a new word)...
Though I have not read his newest, I have heard him mention some points from it and there's one in particular that always rings in my ear.
Always stands out amongst others...
"...you can either choose to be Happy or Right..."
Now it makes no sense just as it is, so lets break it down...
Say for instance you're in a big blow up with your mate. You're not seeing eye to eye, usually over something petty, and this matter is causing a strain, much strain on your relationship.
You have two ways to solve this:
1. Be right. Decided that what you want/think/said is what's best or what should be done. The hell with your mates words or feelings, you know what's right. Stubbornly feel and say that they're the problem and that what your doing is what's best...the right way.
2. Be happy. Realize that whatever it is your beefing about, disagreeing on is something that requires one action, COMPROMISING. Once that word is put into action, considering both parties wants, needs, and desires, all is well. Both parties come to an agreement...a happy medium.
This is where I am in my relationship.
We've recently hit 4 months and though this is usually still a "dreamy" phase with everything feeling like cloud 9, we've hit a wall.
This wall is so tall and thick and no matter what we use, neither one of us can seem to break, jump, chip, burst, pound our way to the other side.
I wish I could say there is one thing that's got us here, but there are multiple reasons; yet, they all boil down to that infamous word...COMPROMISE.
It's a hard step to make when the other person won't show a sign of budging.
Like that saying, "2 steps ahead, 3 steps back"...
Well, one of us has stepped ahead, but when you're holding hands, trying to stay together as one, the person behind will pull you back.
Now, I won't admit that I'm an angel and perfect in this.
That's not true at all.
I have my flaws and I'm sure there are things about me that displeases him.
But it seems that where I'm willing to try, willing to talk things over and choose being Happy...
...he's always choosing to be Right.
I knew this day would come.
We're so different, it's scary, but as the saying goes opposite attract.
And it's only normal that couples deal with these types of issues.
But unfortunately, Rani no longer has the patience and blind eye that she use to have.
I've been scorned, taken advantage of, overlooked, unloved, belittled, ignored long enough.
I'm ready to be Happy.
Do I want to end our relationship? No.
As I said in earlier post, I really do think this is the Him I was meant to be with.
Different and all. I truly still believe its worth fighting for.
But I'm not willing to continue this pattern of unhappiness.
And I'm not willing to live through another relationship where my wants, desires, and needs go unmet.
Sometimes you have to go drastic, match fire with fire.
Well...I got my blow torch out...
...stay tuned.
